A Moment with FryGuy

I've got a fever...

Fri, 06 Jul 2007 11:51:09 GMT

...and the only prescription is more Intarweb.

Coming Soon...

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Spidey Sense-itive.

Sun, 29 Apr 2007 14:10:33 GMT

No. 2,999

Tobey McGuire is a dick! The dude wasn't even paparazzi, just a fan. Granted he could have asked first, but that was no reason to give him a Spider Slap.

Only one post left.

One step forward, two sideways and one back.

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 18:53:55 GMT

Someone tell me what is wrong with this wonderful Bushism:

After warning that if the legislators "want to try again" and send him another version with a similar withdrawal provision, he would veto that one too, he said, "I'm optimistic we can get a bill, a good bill, and a bill that satisfies all our objectives, and that’s to get the money to the troops as quickly as possible."

Hmm, and let me guess that if Congress keeps presenting bills that Bush vetoes it will be the fault of the Democrats and proponents of the bill that (that does give the troops the funds they need) are keeping the funding from the troops, not the turd-burger in office that continues to stop it.

Nice frame, where'd you get it Wal-mart?

Iron-E

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 13:47:29 GMT

With the prospect of Bush vetoing the bill approved by both the Senate and the House, today's Dictionary.com word-of-the-day seems oddly appropriate.

And recognizing car-bombings as violence only emboldens the enemy. So minus all of the car/suicide-bombings, Iraq is super-safe. Let's go to the market, 10 rugs for a $1!!

You salivate strongly, like a platoon of army engineers trapped in a fit of malaria.

Sun, 22 Apr 2007 21:44:04 GMT

Stephen Colbert vs. Sean Penn in the Meta-Free-Phor-All.

More awesome than you, you and yes, even you.

No. 2,991

Crazy Westboro Baptist at it again.

Sun, 22 Apr 2007 20:50:45 GMT

Via Crooks & Liars via WBBM780:

An anti-gay religious group known for protesting at the funerals of American soldiers killed in Iraq is planning on appearing at services for those killed on Monday as well. The Topeka, Kan.-based Westboro Baptist Church (WBC), which is not affiliated with any national Baptist organization, announced plans to protest at victims' funerals only hours after 32 people were killed in the worst mass shooting in U.S. history. They also may protest at other events on the Virginia Tech campus. The organization, founded and led by Fred Phelps, believes the United States has condemned itself to destruction by accepting homosexuality and other "sins of the flesh." Phelps' daughter, Shirley Phelps-Roper, said the Virginia Tech teachers and students who died on Monday brought their fate upon themselves by not being true Christians. "The evidence is they were not Christian. God does not do that to his servants," Phelps-Roper said. "You don't need to look any further for evidence those people are in hell." Cho Seung-Hui, the Virginia Tech student responsible for the killings who took his own life after the shootings, was sent by God to punish those he killed, and America as a whole, for moral decline, said Phelps-Roper, while adding that she believes Cho is also in hell for violating God's commandment to not kill. "He is in hell," Phelps-Roper said. "But he was also fulfilling the word of God."

So if that's the case, are they calling that kid a soldier of God? These people are so fucking whacked it makes me queasy.

I want my money bitch!

Sat, 21 Apr 2007 13:32:37 GMT

Landlord.

Eat Me!

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 12:15:56 GMT

Suicide Food blog

Pure, demented genius.

Homeland.

Thu, 19 Apr 2007 15:29:21 GMT

I'm sort of not too proud of the homeland right now. (I know it's not actually my homeland because I was born in the US but so what, I still got ties [pun intended]).

VA Tech

Tue, 17 Apr 2007 00:29:20 GMT

Boing Boing's heavily updated post regarding today's shooting in VA has tons of info including links to first-person accounts and pictures.

CNN is going nuts with the video shot by Jamal Albarghouti on his Nokia. Wolf Blitzer thought it necessary to find out that the guy who shot the video was from Palestine, you know, because that's relevant.

The press conference they just showed on CNN was like a feeding frenzy. I think I even heard the CNN cameraman scoff at some of the questions the rabid reporters were asking. Everyone is trying to find someone to blame.

Glenn Reynolds' solution: more guns. Gee Glenn, there's awful lot of "if's" in your arrangement. Yeah, if were all allowed to carry around samurai swords the incident may have been averted as well. Come on now, I can play the "what if" game all day.

Oh, and CNN.com, real subtle...

The story continues...

Footnote of the Apocalypse.

Mon, 16 Apr 2007 12:56:52 GMT

Sea lion attacks teenage girl

A 13-year-old girl lost three teeth and had her jaw broken in an attack by a sea lion while she was surfing north of Perth yesterday. Ella Murphy was being towed on a surfboard behind a boat near the fishing town of Lancelin, when the 300 kilogram animal launched at her, the Seven Network reports. "The sea lion has come straight up at her on a collision course on the wave and leapt out of the water and grabbed her on the head in its mouth," witness Chris Thomas said. A family friend pulled the girl to safety as the sea lion was returning for a second attack, the network reported. Ella was in a stable condition last night after undergoing surgery at Princess Margaret Hospital.

When the sea lions start attacking, you know the world has gone completely mad.

billing.

Sat, 14 Apr 2007 02:28:45 GMT

No. 2980

So I was reading the screenplay for Se7en by Andrew Kevin Walker and decided to check out the DVD box to see what kind of billing he got. What I found was this:

Find something odd? Probably not, because only my movie-related-OCD brain would care about this. However you can see that John C. McGinley (aka Dr. Perry Cox) gets his credit on the box. Why is this strange? HE'S IN THE MOVIE FOR ONE MINUTE AND HAS ABOUT TWO LINES! What the crap? Not only that, Kevin Spacey is nowhere to be found.

For all of you movie-philes out there, is there a reason for this? Considering Spacey's role in the move I can understand why they may have left him off of the cast list. However putting McGinley on the box, regardless of how cool the guy is seems a little ridiculous. I would think R. Lee Ermey would have billing over him, he's got way more screentime.

And I just wasted a few minutes of your life. I obviously have forgotten what Friday nights are all about.

p.s. Andrew Kevin Walker's credit comes third to last. So it is. I should have been an actor (not that I'm much of a writer or anything).

Fair and Balanced.

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 12:42:38 GMT

Full quote: If President Bush vetoes an Iraq war spending bill as promised, Congress quickly will provide the money without the withdrawal timeline the White House objects to because no lawmaker "wants to play chicken with our troops."

They really are trying their hardest aren't they.

Via C & L

I love Celtx, but not the ones from Beantown.

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 22:47:48 GMT

Celtx - a free, open source software tool for writing and formatting a screenplay to meet the screenplay submission standards set by the theater and film industries. And it doesn't just help you format a screenplay, it helps organize and entire production (not that I'd be doing that, but the option is there).

It's really free, and it's really awesome. Fuck you $230 Final Draft!

Imus Axed.

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 22:11:03 GMT

CBS pulls the plug on Imus.

Wow, if only our government worked this fast when a politician committed a wrong. Though I don't really feel like it was that much of a wrong.

CBS (and NBC) didn't drop Imus out of some great moral or ethical obligation, they let him go because advertisers pulled their dollars from his how. They let him stay so long because his show pulled in a lot of money from advertisers, even when he said dumb shit before. This time he just got caught being lame and white. Advertising runs the world, believe it.

Kurt Vonnegut: 1922-2007

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 11:58:01 GMT

Kurt Vonnegut Dies at the Age of 84

So long, and thanks for all the laughs.

You know what they say about arguing on the Internet...

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 00:22:16 GMT

...but sometimes it is still fun.

So this guy on YouTube calls me a moron because of some of the political videos I post. In particular he was incensed at the Glenn Beck/Keith Ellison video from ages ago.

From zodiacUSMC:

You totally twisted what Glen Beck was talking about with that Muslim Democrat. You know, how about this, instead of slamming conservative media like Glen Beck just because you hate America, why dont you focus on Rosie O'donnell and her sick views of our country and the Brits. You need to learn your facts before you start slamming. how 'bout you e-mail me back and we can have a real debate and I can promise you that I will shoot down every perverted thought you have about our country. Like I tell every other far left liberal....if you hate us, then leave.BTW...I was a Marine and served during Operation Enduring freedom...I'm a bit interested in what you have to say about that.

Re: smmfryguy:

First, why do people who support the war and George Bush always say those who don't hate America? That's a baseless assertion and makes no sense.

Second, what facts don't I know? Please, tell me.

Third, are you really equating Glenn Beck, a radio/TV host whose show is on a cable news channel, with Rosie O'Donnel, a comedian whose network show has nothing to do with news or politics? You're comparing apples and pork, so that statement doesn't fly either. I don't care what Rosie O'Donnel does or thinks, she doesn't hold sway over majority opinion or run the country.

Lastly, good for you for being a Marine. I hope that made you proud to serve your country, which I hope you did admirably. Disagreeing with a war doesn't mean you dislike those forced to participate in a war. You and your compatriots were merely instruments. You can respect instruments but you don't always like the band they are in or the music they are playing. Do you get that? Do you understand similes and metaphors.

Think for yourself man, stop letting right-wing blowhards and an administration that has lied to you and used you do your thinking.

Response from blowhard-McGee:

you are wrong...first off...Rosie o donnell has access to thousands of households and these housewives. more ppl watch her than Glen Beck...ppl will listen to her. So, you see, she does hold sway over a majority of ppl....Beck does not, atleast not as many as the millions that she does . and I'm sorry but did you serve?....nope..........so you aren't going to get away with calling me an instrument....you have no clue, thats like me saying that your girlfriend gave me good head.....how would I know I was never even in that position... "forced to participate in a war...are you fucking out of your mind???? FORCED....I speak for everyone I know...dont let the liberal media tell you that the majority want out....we all swore and oath to defendthis county against all enemies, foreign and domestic...we swore to defend her with our lives if need be...we all went over there willingly....so dont FUCKING tell me what I or WE as Marines thought....fucking forced my ass, you liberal ass wipe, you know shit...this was going to be a respectful debate until you had to throw up the phrase forced and instrument on a topic I know more about than your sorry ass....no one has lied to me...I am an independent thinker I am not a republican I am an independent consevative and I know how to make decisions...the Marines didn't fucking brainwash my ass either so go fuck yourself if you think that is the case. fucking forced..........you fucking retard.....you really struck a cord in me asshole. I love my country and would do it again if I could....FUCK YOU!

I shit you not, he actually wrote all of that, ellipses and all. I really love when people call you a moron while typing like a third-grader.

My second response:

Wow, why are you getting so upset if you know I am so wrong? Once again, you put words in my mouth. I never said you were brainwashed, but it sounds like you've got your own issues to work out in that regard.

So you swore an oath to defend the country against its "enemies," but who decides who those enemies are? If your generals and masters told you to shoot at and kill a group of catholic priests or children because they were enemies, would you? That's a an extreme example but it seems necessary to make a point. Just because the adminstration says something, it doesn't make it true.

Once again though, you are making assumptions and assertions based on one video and all of the right-wing talking points that are trumpeted by pundits and the adminstration. Don't do that, it makes you look even more foolish.

I'm glad I "struck a chord with you," it tells me that at least you're thinking. Oh, and I'm fairly certain you don't speak for everyone you know. They have voices and minds of their own and I'm sure they'd appreciate it if you didn't make them look as angry and disturbed as you.

For evidence of that, I suggest you watch a few movies:
The War Tapes
Iraq For Sale
Gunner Palace
Operation: Dreamland
The Ground Truth

I doubt you speak for some of the men and women featured in these movies.

Take care, and take a Valium or something, you seem a little tense.

He followed up with this killer:

I'll respond to you later, sorry for cussing at you but I am still upset with what you said and I will explain later. Now I have church and spend time with family.

Now dude, if you're trying to come off as a hard-ass don't end the discussion with, "...I'm taking the family to church." The fact that the dude goes to church after spewing a bunch of hateful, moronic rhetoric is simply icing on the cake. This little exchange took place over the weekend and I have yet to hear back from zodiacUSMC [sic].

I love the Internets.

Free Wireless from Google!*

Wed, 11 Apr 2007 11:57:38 GMT

Google TiSP

Genius!

*not really

Eggs 4 Jeebus.

Sun, 08 Apr 2007 12:38:10 GMT

no. 2970

Happy Zombie Jesus day! Honestly, this has to be one of the most confusing holidays ever. Yes I know what it celebrates, but why eggs and chocolate bunnies (and Peeps)? Oh yeah that's right, commercialism. God loves the money.

It's funny...

Sun, 08 Apr 2007 02:06:33 GMT

...if a little inappropriate.

From T-Shirt Hell.

Bonus:

I think I might buy this one.

no. 2969

"Ditto"

Sat, 07 Apr 2007 22:03:17 GMT

no. 2968

From the Onion's A.V. Club - The Way of the Swayze.

Learn it, love it, live by it.

Saw Grindhouse, we'll talk about it later.

Odd Suggestions.

Sat, 07 Apr 2007 14:49:26 GMT

I find it odd that NetFlix is suggesting Deliver Us From Evil because I liked:

Annie Hall
A Clockwork Orange
The Graduate

I think something is off-kilter in their database.

Intake.

Sat, 07 Apr 2007 05:01:02 GMT

I've been busy so I couldn't rotate my NetFlix list as much, but I still managed to knock quite a few out.

Cocaine Cowboys - What can I say, it's a documentary about the Miami cocaine trade in the late 70s to early 80s. It is really well put together though and all of the people involved really emerge as interesting and provocative characters. After watching it you feel like you could have been one of those guys, but you of course wouldn't have got caught.
Trust the Man - What could have been a cute romantic comedy instead is a cliché-filled turdfest. Not even the foursome of Billy Crudup, David Duchovny, Julianne Moore and Maggie Gyllenhaal could make the awful writing and minuscule characters come to life. There are a couple of cute moments and one-liners that hang on the precipice of witty, but it just falls short.
A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints - The trailer for this movie lied like a son of a bitch. Shia LaBeouf is a great young actor and think he has a great future, just as long he leaves this movie off of his resumé. The story is lame, that doofus Channing Tatum (Step Up) makes you want to punch someone, and not even the awesomeness of Chazz Palminteri could make it tolerable. Typical down and out kid from a bad neighborhood makes good though leaves loose ends that must be amended. The addition of Robert Downey Jr. and Rosario Dawson couldn't save it.
The Black Dahlia - If you are into the old-school, hard-boiled detective noir stuff, this movie pulls it off well. I used to really hate Josh Harnett, but he's upped his cred between this and Lucky Number Slevin. His voice works good in the voiceover bits, which is a staple of this genre. It's a very stylized movie, in set design and cinematography, so it is an acquired taste. Worth your time if you are a fan of the genre.
Sherrybaby - Every male actor is defined by his ability at one time or another to play a retard, and every actress eventually is judged by her ability to play a drugged out/crack-whore trying to make good and rekindle her relationship with an estranged child. This is Maggie's attempt. Eh, it could have been better, though there are some rather racy sex scenes (yes you get to see Maggie's boobs, and they're great).
The God Who Wasn't There - Another criticism on Jesus, God and Christianity that all in all I liked. However most of it focuses on the directors religious school he went to and how he went from being a god-fearing kid to a non-believer. It has some good analysis of myths and Bible deconstructions, as well as some good interviews with Sam Harris (The End of Faith) and the creators of Snopes.com.
Snakes on a Plane - Okay, okay, I know this was supposed to be cheesy but damn. The thing is, I think they meant this to be a serious premise at first and then the buzz about it hit the internet and it was expected to me more campy. So that added a few scenes and lines in post, but it didn't live up to the hype. It actually tried to take itself somewhat seriously, which was the downfall of the movie. It could have been much better if it was much worse.
Tideland - Terry Gilliam's version of Pan's Labyrinth basically, just not as good. Gilliam said that it was filmed from the perspective and through the eye of a child, which may be why I didn't like it all that much. Jeff Bridges didn't get enough pre-mortem screentime and there are some uncomfortable statutory moments with the little girl and a retard. What tried to be a whimsical tale turns out to be whimsicrap.
Color Me Kubrick - The entire story, of a conman pretending to be Stanley Kubrick, is fucking great. John Malkovich does a phenomenal job as always even if his creep factor continues to soar. The clever addition of Kubrick trademarks and allusions to his films was also a nice touch.
Rocky Balboa - This was far, far better than I expected it to be. Stallone stated that this should have been the end to the series and it does make a lot more sense than the laughable Rocky V. Though I still can't wrap my head around the fact that Stallone both wrote and directed this, it just doesn't seem possible. Surprisingly very little of the movie actually has any boxing in it, and most of it has to do with Rocky dealing life after his spotlight has long since faded. A solid ending to the most famous underdog story of all time.
A Midsummer Night Sex Comedy - My monthly Wood Allen injection, though a so-so dose. Allen's character as usual is the funniest and has the best lines, but some of the others have their moments. Of course Allen touches on love, sex and fidelity; the standard Allen formula. Good for a laugh, albeit a highbrow one.
Candy - The Australian version of Trainspotting, though not near as satisfying or amusing. Truthfully I'm tired of junkie movies, I've had my fix so to speak. Ok, we get it, smack is great for about ten seconds and then you waste your life chasing the high. Geoffrey Rush playing a functioning junkie/college professor was cool though.
The Prestige - I'm going to get the dirty eye for this, but I didn't like it as much as I though I would. Don't get me wrong, it's damn good, but critics lauded it and praised it so much I expected more. I can't say too much without spoiling the twists or ending. See it, and we'll discuss.
Confidence - I loves me a good con movie and Ed Burns has enough cool points for ten people, but I wasn't expecting to like this movie as much as I did. The story is well-written and the big con is perfectly executed yet completely plausible. There are of course some red herrings and nit-picky things, but all in all a good con movie. See it.
Volver - It takes a special breed to dig Pedro Almodóvar's movies, but if you do like them this one is good. I normally don't like Penelope Cruz but watching her (and her incredible cleavage) act in her native tongue really shows you her range. Though her eyes are shrink wrapped in tears for most of the movie, she is really hot in most every damn scence. Worth a peek if you can deal with subtitles and almost exclusively female cast.
Inside Man - What, a Spike Lee movie that brings up race? However I do give Lee props for mixing in racial themes into what is basically a heist movie. The one huge thing the movie lacks is any sort of characterization. Clive Owen and Denzel Washington are very good at conveying complex characters, but here they didn't have a lot to work with. Though Lee did add the obvious racial overtones he doesn't hit you completely over the head with it, which makes some of it a bit funny. Good, for what it is, a Spike Lee Joint.
Marie Antoinette - ~~Now playing~~. Bleh. Coppola tried to make this too hip and it ends up being kind of lame. The set design and costumes were good though.

And there you have it. Expect a few more after the weekend, though those will be theater reviews. Good night kids.

p.s. I left off Addiction and Disc 1 of Guns, Germs and Steel because they are pretty self-explanatory and non-movies (but they were watched).

Derhoof - Kidz are so Small

Sat, 07 Apr 2007 00:45:43 GMT

Hm, well isn't that something.

child abuse.

Fri, 06 Apr 2007 11:37:21 GMT

Matinee of Grindhouse this weekend, and possibly a 3:30/6:30 showing of The Host at The Enzian.